- Control your words
- Don’t tell too many people
- Give your spouse wrong
- Get hooked to God
- Know that your spouse is only human.
- Forgive your partner’s wrong
- Know your partner is only human
- Pray the Holy Spirit to bring healing.
- Act right.
Every marriage or relationship goes through a trying time, the way you manage it will determine if the trial will make you stronger or break the relationship.
I will be sharing with you some truth that will help you manage crisis in marriage or relationship. Whether you are married already, in a relationship or don’t have any one yet, this topic is very important to every one of us.
1: Learn to control your mouth: Every relationship came into existence as a result of spoken words, then actions; to sustain any relationship, you need pleasant words, and then follow by right attitude.
The relationship between man and God is initiated by words. “With the heart man believe unto salvation with the mouth confession is made” “Lord Jesus I accept you today as my Lord and personal savior, forgive me my sin” you make that confession and that qualify you as a child of the kingdom.
Also, the relationship between a man and woman also come through words. You approach a woman by words, she accepts by words. On your wedding day you exchange vows.
For your relationship, life and all you do to prosper; you are going to learn how to use words properly. As human when you understand the power of words you will live a prosperous and a peaceful life.
The first job God gave a man after creating him was a talking job, job that has something to do with communication. (Gen 2:19)
It was the words of Adam that formed the personality of every beast of the field. It was Adam’s imagination of a lion that the lion became.
If you know how to talk, you will succeed in whatever you do on planet earth. Right word will put money in your pocket, win your spouse heart, earn you respect before people, make you God’s favorite.
God have not change the job of a man since then that is why all through the ministry of Jesus, He came to show you how to talk “if you say to this mountain be move and be cast to the sea, and not doubt in your heart what you have said, you will have whatsoever you say”
He spoke to the tree it died; he spoke to the dead man, he came alive.
As a Child of God, you speak right more than you work, so when you work, your work follow your words but, the problem is we only learn to speak positive words in religious place; when it comes to our relationship, we talk any how when we are angry.
If you have issues in your marriage and say, am tired of this marriage; yes you are tired, the marriage will become a marriage that is been tired of, nothing works. If you say you fool, your words says so, the person will behave foolishly. One of the ways to manage, crisis in relationship is to manage what to say in the period of crisis.
It is very tempting to speak wrong when we are angry, but deliberately learn to manage it, even if you have no settlement in view.
A lot of single people of marriageable age would have been married today, if not because of inability to manage words when their relationship was going through crisis.
Do not tell people things that they can hardly forget, or not easy to forgive because you are hurt. There is a recent news on CNN that happened in United Kingdom, a lady poured acid on another girl because she called her ugly years ago. Her action is like someone that is insane.
That is words for you, it has the ability to stay, and create both positive and negative things. The girl she poured acid on is very beautiful and she isn’t really, and they use to be childhood friends.
It possible the relationship had challenges and she called her ugly, years later she had to pay for the negative words she spoke.
“That why the bible says, no weapon formed against you shall prosper every tongue (word) that rises against you in judgment you shall condemn”
You can still be married to someone but your negative words in the past had pulled you apart. Learn to control your mouth at the time of crisis that way when the period is over you can come together stronger.
(Example of when I had challenges during my courtship and my cousin help me manage my mouth.)
(How I called my mum to reverse every negative word she spoke to my life)
If I had said something insultive is possible I will still be single today. You may say, even if you are single today, you will still had gotten married; The bad thing about delay is, if you put what you are suppose to do today to tomorrow, today will now disturb tomorrow.
If I were still single, I will probably not be talking to you, and the marriages that had been restore through this ministry would have ended up in divorce.
2. Do not tell too many people: When your marriage or relationship is going through crisis, learn not to tell too many people. If you must tell anyone, tell a counselor that can help you not many friends and family. In most cases that help to end the relationship instead of restoring it.
The first person you should learn to talk to, when you are going through any crisis should be the Holy Spirit. He lives within your spirit. He is so close that He knows your thought without even speaking it, but He does not intrude on any of your issues except He is invited.
The Holy Spirit, is a person that live within you, He know all the answers to your questions, He knows what you are suppose to do that will bring peace to your crisis and can help you remove your wrong from your spouse heart
(example of the issue I had with my husband, I so wronged him, that all he could say was am so surprise at you, the moment he went out I told God, i am sorry will not solve this without putting a stain in our relationship, so I sent my angels to remove it from his heart.)
The reason for divorce here and there is because of lack of closeness to God, do not mistake a lot of church activities for closeness, people attend religious activities more these days, but are even farther from God.
Jesus promise you peace, and peace He will give you in every aspect of your life, if you let Him “He says come to me all you that had labour in relationship without success, in marriage where there is crisis, and I will give you rest”
God lives in you so you can use Him. Some marriages could have still been together today, if they had manage the crisis well.
When you are going through crisis in your marriage, family is the worse people to tell, they see that man or woman, as far as they are concern is a stranger to them, so they will talk base on sentiment.
Some time when you forgive your husband or wife, they will refuse to forgive them.
(Example of a couple that is going through crisis, the husband had already told everybody that he was done with this woman and bad mouth he told everybody, now he is changing his mind but could not because of every one he had said something to.)
3. Forgive your partner wrong: Marriage is a game of forgiveness, if you are not ready to constantly play that game, do not even think of marriage. Your spouse will offend you more than anyone else in the world, but you have to learn to forgive and take every day as a fresh one.
Un-forgiveness is the greatest threat of marital harmony and peace. It brings division to your home and makes it impossible to calm the storm of crisis.
Some marriages had gone down because of un-forgiveness, it Satan strategy to prevent you from allowing the Holy Spirit to bring healing to your home and relationship. Stop meditating on the wrong your spouse or someone else had cause you, it will not add to you but remove from you.
Un-forgiveness is the reason some ladies are still single till date, they had held in their heart an EX that had hurt them, and that is preventing God to intervene in their life to bring their own husband.
Learn to always forgive, you cannot control people from hurting you, but you can control their hurt from hunting your life and destiny.
One of the key to happiness is by learning to dust off all the negative things you go through in a day, on the same day.
Someone says nasty things to you, dust it off on the same day, Your boss talk to you in a manner you do not like, push it off from your heart to the point that even if you remember the following day, it no longer hurt you.
If you can learn this principle you become healthy, prosperous and a happy person.
(Ephesians 4:27-28) “Be angry but do not sin, do not let the sun go down on your anger and give no opportunity to the devil”
Be angry but do not sin, when someone hurt you, you will be angry at first and God understand that, but it turns to sin when it stays in your heart more than a day and that will give opportunity to satan to steal from you.
When you see any marriage where there is un-forgiveness, crisis is always a part of that family because; un-forgiveness has given opportunity to Satan to steal the peace in that home. Do not give a place to satan in your life, that he had lost.
I said last week, the reason people pray and pray without answers is because the soldiers of heaven that had been giving command to attend to their command had seen the fruit of darkness in them and had refuse to take their commands.
(Psalm 37:8 ) “Says abstain from anger, it only tend to evil doing”
Anger is the younger brother to un-forgiveness.
Forgiveness will help you manage crisis in marriage, and you will come out unhurt.
4. Pray the Holy Spirit to bring healing: God has the ability to heal your physical body, so also is your emotions. God can calm any storm in your relationship and your home.
I share a testimony of a lady who lives in Europe that read our article on Face book on “how to be a choice spouse“, before she came across that God wisdom piece, she thought no point staying in her marriage, is over, but through God’s word, He had calm that storm. That is one way, but another strong way is through prayers.
Always pray God helped me calm the storm in my marriage, if it is a strange woman, trying to take over your man, Lord Jesus; I uproot every stranger among my member.
You and your spouse is one flesh, so if any other person is trying to join your flesh, you have right to remove that person by prayers, and God will honor your prayers.
Maintain a constant prayer life to avoid crisis in your life, marriage, business and relationship, a praying person is a growing person.
Create time to communicate with God, you can actually be having your bath and be praying, you can drive and pray, walk on the street and pray.
God says to you pray always, talk to me always. The thing about constant prayer life is, it helps you to be far from sin.
When you know you will come back in the evening to have a conversation with me, you will not insult me in the morning or send me an insultive text message in the afternoon.
Prayer is a sure way to managing crisis in your marriage; it allows the Holy Spirit to bring healing to your heart and your spouse heart when you hurt them.
It was through prayers that I sent angels to help me steal my wrong actions from my husband heart, I talked about earlier.
5. Know your spouse is only human: One of the ways to manage crisis is for you to know your spouse is only human and they are bound to make mistake, it only God that is always right. That is why you have to learn to be close to the God that lives within you, the Holy Spirit; it only with constant fellowship with him you can limit your human mistake. When you learn to see your spouse as human that cannot always be right, you will learn to overlook his or her wrong when they come because you too do make mistake.
Also know they will outgrow their mistakes. There are things you use to do ten years ago, that you will not think of doing now; so will your spouse be in no time from now. Learn to be patient with your spouse.