Luck is when opportunity meets preparation. Human actually change levels by information and how well they act on those information.
You can actually prepare yourself for successful ride in marriage.
Key number 1
- Carefully chose the kind of relationship you get involve with:- Success in marriage is largely dependent on choosing the right spouse.Choosing the right spouse does not mean marrying a believer only, though that is a part of it
but marrying someone that will suit your kind of person and fit into what you were design to do; someone with gifts and personalities that compliment your personality.Let’s read the first instruction for marriage carefully: (Gen2:18) “Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”
Some translation says suitable to him, some says help-meet) all of this means same thing; someone that will compliment you.(Genesis 2:20 )But for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him.
Listen, there were helpers but no one fit into him.There are animals you can train and will be a source of help to you.
Chimpanzee closely behaves like humans and Adam was the one that named the animals, and the entire animal you can think off were all around him.
I strongly believe all those years he was alone, they were a form of companion to him.
Because it took years before Eve showed up. Imagine how long it took him to do all his job of naming.
So God was not saying there was no helper, what he was saying was, no one can suit into him completely.
No one was available to suit into his purpose, his thought, someone like him to communion with, some one of his class.
This is what guarantees success in marriage, choosing a spouse that will suit you. Without sorting out the issue of marrying the wrong person and avoid marrying for wrong reasons; you cannot deal with the overbearing issue of divorce and unhappiness in marriage in our days.
So, when thinking of marriage, think of someone that will suit your person, purpose and your believe. That way, the purpose of your union will be bigger that both of you.
When the purpose of your marriage is bigger than your challenge, you will both work to overcome the challenges.
If you are a married person, let the purpose why you are married be bigger than the challenges you face. Focus your eyes on the institutor of the institution which you are in, and because God is bigger than the earth itself, He will hold you together and ensure your home is established in Peace and Righteousness.
Wrong people make bad marriages; positioning yourself for a success in marriage, start with carefully choosing the right partner.
Secrets that will help you choose you the right person
(a) Make sure he or she is a kind of person you can easily relate with: Marriage is all about relationship; Don’t marry a person that their ideals repulse you.
You should have flair for the same thing and have complimentary goals, you may not have the same but have complimentary goals.
Don’t choose a spouse that is opposite of you, that will be an issue of disagreement in future.
My husband was praying all through his single years, Father give me a wife that we will serve you together and I was praying make my home a place where your name is celebrated and God brought us together. It was not when we met, that He brought us together.
He created us to be a spouse, which is the reason we yearn for the same thing.
(b): Make sure you have similar believe: as a Christian do not marry someone aside your faith or a neutral minded person. That will be the beginning of conflict for your home.
The all wise father says ( 2 Corinthians 6: 14- 18)
Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers.
(Look at that word, your togetherness will not be equal. So from the onset, you will not fit into each other.)
For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness?
(You don’t know for a man to cheat on his wife is lawlessness, the law says do not commit adultery) Or what fellowship has light with darkness?
15) What accord has Christ with Belial? Or what portion does a believer share with an unbeliever? (You do not have the same heritage)
16) What agreement has the temple of God with idols? For we are the temple of the living God; as God said,
“I will make my dwelling among them and walk among them,
and I will be their God,
and they shall be my people.
(17) Therefore go out from their midst,
and be separate from them, says the Lord, and touch no unclean thing;
then I will welcome you,( into a life of peace)
and I will be a father to you,
and you shall be sons and daughters to me,
says the Lord Almighty.”
If you marry an unbeliever, satan will welcome you to life of trouble.
How to identify a believer
(i). Someone that loves God.
One key to know a man or woman that love God, is the way they respect and regard the instruction of God and the way they treat others.
In this present world, it is not people who attends church services that are believers but, they that are willing to follow what God word says.
“If you love me, keep my commandment.” he says
Any person that attends church service but still feels comfortable in doing contrary things to God’s word is not a believer. Quote God.
He says (1 john 3:8-10) whoever makes a practice of sinning is of the devil, for the devil has been sinning from the beginning. The reason the Son of God appeared was to destroy the works of the devil.
No one born of God makes a practice of sinning, for God’s seed abides in him, and he cannot keep on sinning because he has been born of God.
(See how the Holy Spirit explain it to me, when you put pig in the mud, he feels comfortable and enjoy itself. But when a human being stays in the mud, when he is out of place he feels irritated because that is not his nature;
You cannot claim God and claim a life of sin at the same time.
God does not have a nature to sin, it natural, it not in him, so when you are of God, the nature of your father comes upon you, that cannot keep sinning,
Even, if you make mistakes, you will not be comfortable to continue.
That word keep sinning, is there, because you use to sin before the nature of God came on you; now that he is in you, you cannot any more.
By this, it is evident who the children of God are, and who are the children of the devil? Whoever does not practice righteousness is not of God, nor is the one who does not love his brother.
If you do not fit into this description yourself, start working on yourself, it may be why your prayers to marry a God fearing spouse had been ignored.
Also he say (1john3:4) everyone who makes a practice of sinning also practices lawlessness; sin is lawlessness.
You know marriage is an institution of laws( instructions).
Husband love your wife like you love yourself, wife submit yourself to your own husband, do not commit adultery, these are all instruction.
Do not partner with a lawless person he or she will never keep the instruction of marriage.
If any cannot keep the first one that says, keep your bed undefiled, he or she will never keep the rest.
Marrying an unbeliever is setting out on a journey of troubles and pains.
If you want to cover your head from this waves of divorce and unhappiness, never partner with an unbeliever.
(ii). Their attitude and action will show it. By their kind of result you will know.
People always know when they are dating a man or woman that is not sold out to God, but because they are desperate to get married, they will cover it and move on with the marriage plans.
Key 2
2: work on your disposition: disposition is your natural or acquired habit, it is the characteristic tendency in a person.
If we had been able to establish, that is not everybody you can marry, you need to work on you, so the one you can marry will find you appealing and suitable for him or her.
Areas you need to work on
a: The way you look: there is no business or institution where looks is as important as marriage or relationship, especially in this present day. You must package your product to look appealing.
There is no generation where looks was not considered in marriage, in every generation no one want to go and woo a woman without deliberately washing his body and try as much is possible to look better.
Or a woman knowing she is going to see her admirer, and not try to put a makeup on or dresses fine.
This shows a good look is very key. When Rebecca saw a man on the field on her way to meet her husband, she asks the servants who is that man,
she was told is my master Isaac, she took her vein and cover up herself. She has coming from a long journey with men uncovered.
She just wanted some styles, this was thousands of years ago.
When Ruth was going to meet Boaz the man she intend marrying after her husband’s death, her mother in-law knowing how important looks are to marriage, she advice –
Ruth 3:3″Wash therefore and anoint yourself, and put on your best garment and go down to the threshing floor,
You will be so unfair to yourself to be looking unattractive all in the name of religion.
Remember looking attractive have nothing to do with been half naked.
Beauty give you Favour in the sight of people in any area of life.
When you look clean and neat people rarely talk or look down at you.
Look is very important in attracting the right spouse, when you do not dress well, you attract the wrong people.
When you dress indecent, you will attract other indecent people.
You ought to look good, but you ought to look decently as well.
I see women even in churches wearing a dress so short, as though they are going to club, people call that civilization. I call it low self-esteem and God is not pleased with that.
Also the looks on your countenance can attract a potential spouse or discourage them.
Your looks in most cases shows the state of your mind.
(Proverbs 15:13 says) “A glad heart makes a cheerful face”
Nobody wants to marry anyone with a disrupted mind. People are looking for someone that will add flavor to their life not issues.
And the only way to carry a cheerful countenance is a heart full of gratitude.
Be grateful at where you are per time.
You may think your life is hard and unbearable, but some others have no opportunity to think anymore, they are in their graves.
Fill your heart with gratitude and it will show on your face, your face is the expression of the state of your heart.
b: What is in you: after you attract a potential spouse, it is what you know that will keep them. You must work on you.
How much do you know about making relationship work? People can go and learn different skill, but they rarely want to learn about a lifelong success.
What is in you will determine what will comes out of you.
You need articles and books like this, to come out successful in your relationship.
Also you need to know all that you carry, so you can easily identify the right person that will suit you when they come.
The first relationship success secret is to date yourself, when you know you; you will know your better half when they come.
c: The way you talk. There nothing that destroys relationship like wrong statements.
Words are the only window to the heart, so when you meet any date, your words are the marketing instrument of your personality.
That is why I always advice, when you are dating, talk, that will help you to know the person you intend to marry.
So you must train your month to sell you well. You must learn how to give expression to your feeling politely in the midst of pressure. Anytime you hear marriage failure, it as a result of words over time that was not properly expressed and wrong actions.
You must learn to think before you talk, also if you are unsure how harmful your words will be, it safer to be quite.
(James:3: 2)For we all stumble in many ways. And if anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle his whole body.
So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things.
How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire! Wrong words can set your marriage or relationship ablaze.
Right words will help to enhance peace in your union.
Remember every relationship is initiated by spoken words and will only take positive words to keep it.
d: the way you smell: bad smell can keep you single for a long time, until you meet another smelling person that may not care.
so you must take time to wash your body and use deodorant to keep it from smelling bad.
When you want to date a man or woman, remember you are the “product”, if you go to the market to buy an item, would you buy a smelling item, the answer is No.
No one loves a smelling spouse, neatness is the playground of Romance in marriage. Some people will complain, that their partner hate having intimate time with them, some say, she hate kissing me.
The question, have you ever cared to know how your mouth smells at night? Or how your armpit smells.
You must develop the habit to wash your mouth and body before bed time; it will enhance the Romance in your home.
e: the way you see and carry yourself: you must work on how you see yourself. No one will put value on you more than you do to yourself.
Never appear to any man or woman to be desperate or as though your joy depends on them.
Your joy should not depend on a person or a thing, but on God. Your joy should come from the inside of you because God lives on the inside of you.
f: the way you act or react: the way you act or react to circumstance can either seal up a marriage deal or end it.
The way you act have to do with the way you compose yourself in public.
Your body language, the way you respond to issues, respect or disrespect others, take correction or despise correction.
Relationship success is a part of attitude. If you do not know how to treat people, you will always have problems in your relationship.
Marriage is an attitude test. Some people have zero score and it shows in their relationship with their spouse.
Ways to improve on how you treat others:
(a). Always put yourself in their shoes, always ask yourself this question, if I was the one receiving this treatment, will I feel good, if it not good for you, Is not good for Others.
This is the greatest relationship secret God gave us. “Love your neighbor as you love yourself.
If you can take this advice, you will never have relationship failure.
(b). know everyone love to feel special. So ask you self daily, have I made him /her feel special today or made him/her feel like a trash?
(c). Take attention off you. Avoid always thinking of you and what will please you. Be willing to work on any area of your life that more than two people had complain about, this will make you better behave and people will perceive you as a nice person.