Thought is the most powerful force on earth. Anything you can see now was first a thought before it became a reality.
Marriage was first a thought in God’s mind before it become the most powerful institution that gave birth to the human race and the only institution depended on to raise a successful generation.
“Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”
Nothing becomes real until it’s thought on. We are product of thought.
You were once a thought in God’s heart. And your tomorrow is still thought in his heart.
God thinks of you, and those thoughts are positive thoughts, he never thinks of your shortcoming.
“I know the thought I think towards you, thought of peace not of evil to give you hope and a future”.
Your life follows your thought so also is your relationship with others
Your relationship can never be better than you think of it
Your spouse can never become better than you can imagine him or her to become. Even your life will never get better than you think of yourself.
Nobody will help you put value in yourself, or take you to be more valuable than you think you are
The more negative thoughts you have towards your spouse, the worst they will become.
The question is, in your thinking world, what name does your spouse bear?
Poor man, Stupid man, quick tempered man, A cheat, Stingy man, un- romantic man, weak man, Troublesome woman, Dirty woman, That is who they will always be.
This is so true, and its practical, what you think of any person determines how you relate to them, and how you relate with them, will determine how they relate back to you.
For instance, have you noticed, if you think a person is very civilized, you seem to behave very civilized in their presence, each time you are together you will keep a civilized atmosphere ,that is what thought does to any relationship.
The reason some people get into a relationship and always end up wrongly, is not always the other person’s fault. But because of their thoughts and actions
You always thinking it is another person’s fault when things go wrong is a fault itself.
Change your thinking pattern that will help you change your character. Good Character is what sustains every relationship.
There is nothing I can teach you that will change your character, if you don’t first change your thought.
The reason God can still relate to us in-spite of our shortcomings is because, he does not deal on what we have done or doing now, he thinks of what we will become.
When you start thinking of what your spouse can become and treat them based on that, your relationship or marriage will become the envy of all.
This kind of thinking Pattern will settle a lot of people into their God ordained homes and also keep them happily married.
One of the reasons for delay in marriage is inability to manage people, and managing a relationship depends largely on how you perceive life.
When you think wrongly, you will behave wrongly.
That is why the bible advised us to “guide your heart with all diligence for out of it lies the issues of life”(proverbs 4:23)
The strongest pollution of marriage is formed in the heart, and it gives expression through the mouth.
The initiation for marriage is formed in the heart, and separation or divorce is also same.
You have to learn to think right about you and your spouse in order to act right.
The reason why a lot of parents are willing to sacrifice to send their children to good schools in spite of lack is, because of the thoughts of the future.
The imagination that your relationship will succeed will encourage you to put in your best to ensure you see it in reality, what you had already seen in your thoughts.
The reason people do not give their of best character, commitment and sacrifice in relationships any more is been confident that the relationship will work.
When you create that kind of thought in your hearts, you will not give in your best and because you did not put in your all, it will not bring about the best result.
Am not saying, you should be careless with people. But while you have studied them to the point that you are convinced to date or marry them, please give it your best shot.
But even before conviction, whether stranger or someone you know, always sow an act of kindness, it always comes back to you.
Years ago, I housed a friend that had accommodation problem, years later when I was looking for an accommodation in London; she introduced me to her friend in London that housed me all through the period of my stay. Till date, any time I am in London her friend’s house is like mine.
A lot of relationships fail because people enter with the mentality of I hope it works, not it will work because they see it working.
If you can think of your spouse like (Philippians 4:8) says, you will have a marriage made in heaven.
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honourable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.
The only way to have God and his peace in your marriage, and your life is learning to think positively about you and others around you.
Think positive of your spouse, (verse 9) says whatever you heard of me, practice it.
One of the characteristic that God had and told us, is he thinks positive of us, in-spite of our shortcomings.
’’I know the thought I think towards you, thoughts of peace not of evil to give you hope and a future’’.
He was able to win back our friendship and love because, he thought well for us.
If you want to always love your spouse and help him to love you in return, keep thinking right of him or her.
People will always make mistakes, but be to your spouse what God is to you. Until then you are not qualified of his peace.
God always push your wrong away from his heart, and always forgives when you are wrong. That is the only secret that runs relationships.
WAYS to develop positive thoughts towards your spouse.
a. Guide what you hear:
Anything you keep hearing will later form your belief. That is why you cannot attend singles and married today regularly and the knowledge will not show in your marriage or relationship.
The more you hear a thing the more you believe in it.
And what you hear is not only when someone else speaks it but even the one you speak out of your month, your ears is the first to hear it.
That is why the bible teaches confession, the more you confess anything, the more faith you will build on that thing because you are hearing it over and over again.
b. Think of them in the stature or the image you want them to become:
c. Be grateful for where they are per time. The act of gratitude magnifies and not diminishes.
d. Understand it’s human nature to ere.
e. Make allowance for mistakes in your heart.
f. Know that there is always a benefit for obeying God’s instruction.
When you obey his word that says whatever is true, ’’whatever is honourable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things”, and the God of peace will be with you.
g. Do it for the benefit of peace it will bring.
Ways thoughts affect your relationship in a positive way
i. It helps you to avoid keeping grudges
ii. It helps build affection in marriage
iii. It helps you guide against constant disagreement
Ways thought affect your relationship negatively.
i. It makes you talk rudely to your spouse. There is nothing that ruins a relationship like wrong words. Nobody can love you while been rude.
ii. It makes your disrespectful
iii. It makes you unhappy
iv. It helps end the relationship