- Attitude: this is the smell you emit to others. A lot of people get into marriage and think marriage is an end. Marriage is a journey, it is a lifelong work. They think, we are already married, whatever I do does not matter. No’ it is a journey; when you are on a journey whatever you do at the process of the journey determines if you will get to your destination or not. So, you cannot afford to behave anyhow.Attitude is never to be taken for granted in any relationship not just emotional relationship. You get to any position in your place of work, your attitude to the work and people around you will determine whether or not you will stay on that job.
Beauty can attract you to anybody, anointing can take you to places or make people attracted to you but only attitude can sustain it. You can be a very anointed preacher and that could make a lot of people attracted to you but if you have a wrong attitude of sleeping with young ladies in your congregation; sooner or later it will bring you down.
There are people you will see and you get attracted to them because of their beauty; by the time you spend twenty minutes with them, you will say within you, no not this one.
Attitude or character is the prophecy of our future, some people are not married today not because they are not beautiful, not because they are not educated, attractive but because they just have wrong attitude to things. They just cannot keep relationship for three months and they think someone held their marital destiny; you know we have to spiritualize everything.
I was speaking with a young man on behalf of a lady last week and he told me “He can never marry that lady” and I asked why; she is pretty, educated and a Christian and he replied “she has an inherent attitude in her that I can just cope with. He added, if I see the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with; I will know her.
There is nothing that destroys love like wrong attitude; it brings marriage down faster than unfaithfulness will do.
You are in a relationship and all of a sudden the person drops you to marry another person, do not start laying abuses on the person; rather start to add value on yourself, to improve your product. assuming you want to buy a product and you first stumbled on one in particular place and you were offered a price, and for some reason you choose to go else where and you find the same produced with an added value, which on will you go for? it is natural to go for the one with an added value. that is what happens when it comes to choosing a life partner. There must be something in that other person that you did not have that makes them choose him or her rather than you. Instead of carrying grudge around, just improve your value; when the next buyer comes he or she will choose you.
Matthew 25:1-13 Jesus Christ tells the parable of the ten virgins. The wise ones had oil in their lamp that kept them all through the night, while they were waiting for the groom. That oil is likened to a good attitude that keeps your relationship till your marriage day and sustains it thereafter. A good attitude is the vehicle that drives every relationship and marriage.
HOW TO DEVELOP A GOOD
a. You must be truthful to yourself and must develop self control
b. You must learn to take responsibility of your feelings. If you keep holding people responsible for your feelings, you will never develop a good character.
c. You must own your behavior if not, you will never change your character. some men will say, My wife talk to me in a rude manner, that was the reason I slapped her; no sir, you have a slapping spirit in you, your wife’ words only help in bringing it out.
d. You must own your choice
e. You must know your limit: for instance, you are in a relationship with somebody that keeps provoking you to act wrongly, you should be able to know what you can take or quit. It is better to quit than having someone provoking you to behave wrongly.
f. You must load yourself daily with God’s word and meditate on it; there is nothing that builds character like God’s word.
You cannot read in the morning that anger rest in the bossom of a fool and not be conscious about anger that day.
- APPRECIATION: appreciation or gratitude is the fuel for increase. There is nothing you appreciate man or God for that can depreciate. A lot of people do not know how to appreciate what they have, they keep comparing their spouse weakness to other people’s best, and then they loose what they have.
for instance, as a man you see a lady outside at her best, you see her when she had taken time to make up, wear good clothes, perfume her body and pack her hair properly then you pick the picture of your wife you just left at home with a wrapper, hair not dressed, she has not even taken a bath then you compare her weakness because you are privilege to see another person’s strength that you are not privilege to see the weakness.
It also happen to women, you see a man in church or in the office, drive in a nice car, well dressed, good carriage, nice perfume and all that; and you wish you were the wife to the man, go and ask the wife if she truly opens up for you, you will go back home and hug your husband. You will not know he went to toilet last night and did not clean his buttocks before he slept.
We have to learn to appreciate our spouse with our words and actions. The word “THANK YOU” should not be far from our lips. “YOU LOOK GREAT” this will generate unbelievable results.
Appreciation generate result anywhere; you have a staff working with you and you never get to see any good from what they do instead of you seeing increase in their productivity, you will begin to see decrease. Learn to appreciate God for where you are and people around you. If not for anything, just being around is enough to appreciate them for. It will surprise you the kind of increase this will generate in your life.
- YOUR SPOUSE SENSE OF SMELL: Do not ever take this for granted, that you are married does not mean you should be relaxed and smell bad. Neatness is the play ground for romance, bad smell can put your spouse off; make a conscious effort to smell good. Make it a duty to have your bath and clean your mouth before bed time. If you are single, no magic will happen when you get married; so start now.
Do not say I have been on Air condition since morning; you are the last person to know when you have bad smell.
For instance, when you wear a nice perfume most times you will no longer perceive it but others will be complimenting your smell, so also with bad smell.
Body and mouth odor is one of the reasons for the rise in infidelity in homes today. Some people go to work all day and return back home, eat and go to bed yet they complain their spouse no longer spend intimate time with them.